I just re-read my blog post from back in July and it still rings true now more than ever in my opinion. I feel obliged to give one last written update on my feelings regarding the election before it’s finally all over and we can go back to normal life (if there is such a thing) in just a few short weeks. If only just to address some of the sad themes that keep recurring.
I generally don’t care for politics that much. But it’s the season for it, so let me take the opportunity to articulate some of the conclusions I’ve come to.
I’m disappointed in all of the presidential candidates. They all have flaws. Some of them very major ones. I’ll get to more of that later.
First, lets start with some background on myself. Living in Missouri, I’m not required to register with one specific party affiliation regarding voting. In primaries, I can walk in and pick a ballot of any party and then vote on candidates. I guess I would have considered myself an independent Republican. I’m independently minded, and tended to lean towards issues first, then generic Republican support second usually in the name of “voting for the lesser of two evils.” I can’t say this strategy has worked well or that I’m proud of it.
Today I had the displeasure of attending another funeral of a soldier in my unit that committed suicide. That’s the 2nd one in less than a year. Honestly, it’s an awful experience. If I never have to watch another mother bawl her eyes out for her child that is gone while hearing taps, I’d be ok with that. Sadly, I’m afraid it won’t be the last time I will have to go through this. As hard as it is for me and my fellow soldiers who were his friends, I can’t imagine what sorrow and pain the family is going through. I pray they will find comfort in this awful season of their lives.
I keep mentioning the idea of wanting to write more. I definitely feel that I have things I can contribute to the world. Some of that is through writing. I’m a creative person naturally and love to create ideas, videos, music, etc. I tend to hesitate to create because it involves putting your ideas out there and waiting to see if people like/understand/approve of it. This fear and hesitation has held me back quite often from putting my creative things out into the world. So I’m working to overcome this and start creating more. I’m moving towards the attitude of not caring about your opinion of my work. If you like it, great! Share it, comment on it, etc. If you don’t like it, that’s ok too. When you create passionately, you are going to get people who don’t care for your work, don’t like it, don’t agree with it, etc. But at least you are being authentic to the creative process.
I thought I knew what leadership was. I’ve even thought I exhibited it occasionally. I know the definition of it. I’ve seen both great examples of it and poor examples of it during my time in the army.
Tonight I saw the finest example of it in my life. I watched from the back of the funeral home as my friend walked his two children up to the casket to see their mom resting peacefully. He explained that even though she looked like she was only sleeping that she was gone. I watched him do all this and keep his composure. He held it together for his children as I cried from the back of the room wandering if I could ever be that strong for people I love.
It’s January 1st. Time for silly new years resolutions posts. Ha. I’m not gonna do that. But I will talk about a concept I feel I’ve started to understand in 2015.
Intentional living.
I define it as follows: Living life with a purpose and goals. Making things happen in your life, instead of waiting for or reacting to things happening to you.
You can sit back and be reactionary in your life and complain about the circumstances and situations that come your way, or you can work hard, be intentional and do your best to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. Basically not having a victim or entitlement mentality. Life is hard, the economy sucks, etc. I get it. I really do. But really you only have two choices. Roll over and die (slowly) or take it head on. No one owes you anything. Not the government, not your family, not your job, and not your friends. Anything you get from any of those is just a blessing. You’re not guaranteed anything and you shouldn’t expect anything. Man that sounds depressing right?
So I’ve had these thoughts in my head for quite a few years and just never took the time to translate them to keyboard or paper. I’ve written a lot of thank you notes and done a lot of thoughtful things for people in my head, but I’ve never been good about follow through. It’s the thought that counts right? Well not today. Today I write.
It’s Father’s Day.
So rather than hear this at a eulogy some day (God forbid), I want everyone to know that my Dad is awesome and here’s why.
So it’s off to training today. 9 weeks of basic and then 22 weeks of AIT training. If you need to get ahold of me or want to hear how I’m doing, you will have to get ahold of Amy as she will have the most up to date info. See you all at Christmas when I get leave. The Soldier’s Creed I am an American Soldier. I am a Warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values. I will always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade. I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself. I am an expert and I am a professional. I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat. I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life. I am an American Soldier.
Recently I had the fun adventures of renewing my license plates. Here is how the story goes. My license plates came up for renewal in June this year. Luckily I just happened to notice this one day in May when checking my tires on my car and noticed the sticker on my plate said June. So like a good citizen, I began to start getting all the things done to get a successful renewal. By June 6th I had fixed my car enough where it would pass inspection. 12 dollars for headlight parts, and 12 dollars for the inspection. Since the friendly, automated mail with the renewal form already nice and typed up, magically never arrived, I had to hunt down the form on the DMV website. After filling this form out, getting my property tax receipts, and my inspection notice, I headed off to the DMV. Since the government run office is conveniantly open only during hours I work, I managed to swing by there when I was out sick one day from work. Not my idea of fun. When I should have been at home in bed, I was standing in line for 30 minutes. Much to my avail and hard work, they would not let me renew my plates. I was so mad. Apparently, my car title is in my name. Somehow the property tax got paid in only Amy’s name. I was told the reason I could not renew my plates, was that they didn’t know if I had more than one car (of the same make and model) at home and was trying to fake a registration. Needless to say, the fact that the VIN number was the same on the title and insurance card, and the car 40 feet away outside didn’t matter. I mumbled a few choice words under my breath as I left the office, and drove home fuming in anger. The story continues……. June comes and goes. My plates are expired. I am now driving around with probable cause for any officer of the law to stop me and question me and give me a ticket if they so choose. The whole time driving during the 17 days my plates were expired, I debated whether I should say, “Oh, I forgot…” or “I honestly tried, and the !&$#! dmv wouldn’t let me.” I finally had another week day off. I took a vaction day to go sign papers for my house. That day, I also made it to the county courthouse of my previous residence. First I visited the county assesor’s office and told them this story. They said they could happily add my name to the property tax receipt. Thinking ahead, I had brought every form of identification regarding me, my car, and my marriage to help prove the story and my identity. They agreed to adjust my 2008 property tax receipt. I asked if they could also do it to my 2007 property tax receipt. They said they could, but would need a copy of it. Since I had lost the 2007 form during my last move, I then had to proceed across the hall to the county collector’s office where they very nicely printed off a copy of my 2007 return for $1. I then returned across the hall, where they put the freshly printed off copy, into a old typewriter and manually typed my name onto the paper. (needless to say, I was stunned that they could print copies for $1, but could not add my name to the form in the computer.) After all of that fun, I returned to the dmv with my newly signed mortgage papers in tow to prove my new address. ( I figured 30 pages with my name, signature, and address would be good enough.) The water bill sufficed. After waiting the mandatory 40 minutes in line, I successfully got my plates renewed, and my drivers license updated. (which I had to wait in a seperate line for again for 10 minutes.) So why do I tell this long, detailed, boring story? Just to comment on the (In)efficiency of government run offices. When law abiding citizens try to follow the laws, and unable to do so, due to stupid forms, bad office hours, etc. I see why so many people don’t even bother trying. Also, it makes me very worried about this government run health care coming down the pipe. Imagine trying to make sure you have your 17 forms to get your child’s inhaler. Or the six forms, and 2 month waiting period to get a minor surgery, like getting your tonsils removed. Let alone, having a major illness and trying to schedule a surgury, hospital stays, or a second opinion. If there is one thing the government excells at, it is Paperwork. I’m sure we will all love spending what little free time we have earning a law degree online, just so we can navigate the paperwork to get to the doctor. I’m sure living so close to the state line won’t complicate it at all. Two states, the federal government, and me all trying to work together for the betterment of me. Glad I’m not out-numbered or supposed to think for myself. :) Just some thoughts. Have a great week. -Derek