POSTS

Soldier Suicides

Today I had the displeasure of attending another funeral of a soldier in my unit that committed suicide. That’s the 2nd one in less than a year. Honestly, it’s an awful experience. If I never have to watch another mother bawl her eyes out for her child that is gone while hearing taps, I’d be ok with that. Sadly, I’m afraid it won’t be the last time I will have to go through this. As hard as it is for me and my fellow soldiers who were his friends, I can’t imagine what sorrow and pain the family is going through. I pray they will find comfort in this awful season of their lives.

Writing More Better (Often)

I keep mentioning the idea of wanting to write more. I definitely feel that I have things I can contribute to the world. Some of that is through writing. I’m a creative person naturally and love to create ideas, videos, music, etc. I tend to hesitate to create because it involves putting your ideas out there and waiting to see if people like/understand/approve of it. This fear and hesitation has held me back quite often from putting my creative things out into the world. So I’m working to overcome this and start creating more. I’m moving towards the attitude of not caring about your opinion of my work. If you like it, great! Share it, comment on it, etc. If you don’t like it, that’s ok too. When you create passionately, you are going to get people who don’t care for your work, don’t like it, don’t agree with it, etc. But at least you are being authentic to the creative process.

More Updates

I’m going to try and start using my website and social media platforms more. I’m getting tired of reading stupid people on facebook and twitter. I’ll write and rant my opinions here and if people choose to come read it they may.

I haven’t really used my youtube channel in many years. I need to upload some videos, I just don’t have any ideas.

Periscope is cool when I use it. Mostly to watch kids soccer games back and forth between my wife and me.

2016 Fitness so far

So it’s April 9th. I just finished week 13 of p90x3. This is my blog about all the fun and pain.

I started Dec 28th to get almost a five day head start on the new year resolution. That worked well.

It took me 15 weeks to do the 13 week program. I did week 5 twice due to missing 4 days that week and I did week 9 over due to missing most of that week. Both of those were due to business travel and Army weekends. It just made it logistically too hard to hit all seven days. Overall I am very proud of myself for completing the program. I could have done some parts better, but as they say, “Do your best, and forget the rest.”

Leadership

I thought I knew what leadership was. I’ve even thought I exhibited it occasionally. I know the definition of it. I’ve seen both great examples of it and poor examples of it during my time in the army.

Tonight I saw the finest example of it in my life. I watched from the back of the funeral home as my friend walked his two children up to the casket to see their mom resting peacefully. He explained that even though she looked like she was only sleeping that she was gone. I watched him do all this and keep his composure. He held it together for his children as I cried from the back of the room wandering if I could ever be that strong for people I love.

Intentional Living

It’s January 1st. Time for silly new years resolutions posts. Ha. I’m not gonna do that. But I will talk about a concept I feel I’ve started to understand in 2015.

Intentional living.

I define it as follows: Living life with a purpose and goals. Making things happen in your life, instead of waiting for or reacting to things happening to you.

You can sit back and be reactionary in your life and complain about the circumstances and situations that come your way, or you can work hard, be intentional and do your best to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. Basically not having a victim or entitlement mentality. Life is hard, the economy sucks, etc. I get it. I really do. But really you only have two choices. Roll over and die (slowly) or take it head on. No one owes you anything. Not the government, not your family, not your job, and not your friends. Anything you get from any of those is just a blessing. You’re not guaranteed anything and you shouldn’t expect anything. Man that sounds depressing right?

A quick update

So I haven’t updated in a while. Life sometimes has a amazing way of getting busy. Here are some bullet updates. There are too many thoughts and ideas jumbled in my head to get them all out now in paragraph form.

• I’ve travelled to Minnesota twice since my last update for work.
• I just got back from a week in Chicago. I walked over 30 miles in a few short days and only lost one pound.
• Being sick sucks.
• Thanksgiving was good to see my Grandma and family.
• I’m enjoying seeing some of my long term budgeting plans starting to come to fruition. #intentionalliving
• Work has been really good at times, and also really stressful at times.
• This year has gone by extremely fast.
• Having 3 kids is way more of a challenge than having two.
• I’m excited for the Christmas season. It helps me to remember there is still good in people.
• The Royals celebration parade was crowded.
• Maybe I’ll start trying to post movie reviews.
• I’m getting really burned out on stupid people and their opinions on the internet.
• I got promoted to Staff Sergeant this summer.
• Music is amazing as always.

And now for random photos from my phone.         Later, Derek

Caroline is 1 year old!

Caroline is one year old today.

This last year has seemed to go by both very quickly and very slowly. After having two toddlers who are now pre-school and elementary aged, I had forgotten what life with a newborn was like. The last year has been a very accurate reminder.

Caroline has a very interesting personality. She is a super happy baby and loves to play with her brother and sister. However, if she’s tired or not getting her way, she will definitely let you know. If I thought my first two kids were strong willed, Caroline has shown me that my definitions were way wrong. She can be very opinionated/stubborn sometimes! She is walking really well these days for just having started about 12 days ago. She loves electronics and wants to be in the same room as other people. She has no fear and will climb up and on anything she can reach. She is alot of fun at this age and I can’t wait to see who she’ll grow into as a kid and later adult.

More Blogging!

I think I will start blogging more. I’m thinking of re-doing my site completely and pulling it all into WordPress. It just depends on how much time I want to waste on it. Some parts of my site are way outdated and need to be changed or removed. But I do enjoy tinkering in the html occasionally.

So we’ll see how the redesign goes if at all.

I’m also gonna try to start adding more content. Movie reviews. Tech news. Army stuff. Music. I dunno. Whatever.

There are no words....

For friends i know who are suffering… There are no words Sometimes there are no words when life has planned for so much joy and tragedy strikes to steal it all away the hollow feeling in your soul no amount of tears could fill If only you could hate it all away bargain it all back there’s nothing you wouldn’t give to just have one more day when laughter and smiles no longer have meaning time stands still and these open wounds last forever There are no words….. grey and butty the days have no meaning where will the strength to go on come from? no rhyme or reason to it all the day to day filtered and muted robotic motions to the world becoming numb as the pain and hurt slowly kill it all from the inside This is the hardest thing I will ever face how do I bury my child? how can I live again? I feel that this could kill me…. There are no words…..