Caroline is 1 year old!

Caroline is one year old today.

This last year has seemed to go by both very quickly and very slowly. After having two toddlers who are now pre-school and elementary aged, I had forgotten what life with a newborn was like. The last year has been a very accurate reminder.

Caroline has a very interesting personality. She is a super happy baby and loves to play with her brother and sister. However, if she’s tired or not getting her way, she will definitely let you know. If I thought my first two kids were strong willed, Caroline has shown me that my definitions were way wrong. She can be very opinionated/stubborn sometimes! She is walking really well these days for just having started about 12 days ago. She loves electronics and wants to be in the same room as other people. She has no fear and will climb up and on anything she can reach. She is alot of fun at this age and I can’t wait to see who she’ll grow into as a kid and later adult.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of her.
Happy Birthday Caroline, I love you.  – Dad

caroline caroline2 caroline3 caroline4 caroline5 caroline6 Caroline-newborn guitar

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More Blogging!

I think I will start blogging more. I’m thinking of re-doing my site completely and pulling it all into WordPress. It just depends on how much time I want to waste on it. Some parts of my site are way outdated and need to be changed or removed. But I do enjoy tinkering in the html occasionally.

So we’ll see how the redesign goes if at all.

I’m also gonna try to start adding more content. Movie reviews. Tech news. Army stuff. Music. I dunno. Whatever.

Later,

Derek

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There are no words….

For friends i know who are suffering…

There are no words

Sometimes there are no words

when life has planned for so much joy
and tragedy strikes to steal it all away
the hollow feeling in your soul
no amount of tears could fill

If only you could hate it all away
bargain it all back
there’s nothing you wouldn’t give
to just have one more day

when laughter and smiles no longer have meaning
time stands still
and these open wounds last forever

There are no words…..

grey and butty the days have no meaning
where will the strength to go on come from?
no rhyme or reason to it all
the day to day filtered and muted
robotic motions to the world
becoming numb as the pain and hurt
slowly kill it all from the inside

This is the hardest thing
I will ever face
how do I bury my child?
how can I live again?
I feel that this could kill me….

There are no words…..

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My Dad

So I’ve had these thoughts in my head for quite a few years and just never took the time to translate them to keyboard or paper. I’ve written a lot of thank you notes and done a lot of thoughtful things for people in my head, but I’ve never been good about follow through. It’s the thought that counts right? Well not today. Today I write.

It’s Father’s Day.

So rather than hear this at a eulogy some day (God forbid), I want everyone to know that my Dad is awesome and here’s why.

I’ve learned many things from my Dad throughout my life. Many of them I didn’t understand until I became a father myself. Some I listened to, and some I didn’t. Some of them I’m still working on digesting and applying to my life.

First is his faith. My dad is a God fearing Christian Man. I love that about him. I remember him teaching me about right and wrong growing up. I saw him get up and go to work every day to provide for my family and provide me with a quality Christian education. I attribute that education to much of my success. I remember him getting my family together at bed time to read the bible as a family. And while I often didn’t pay attention, when I reflect back now, the leadership choices of him directing his family to take time (even if only for five minutes a day sometimes) and read the bible together shows his character and priorities.

I remember one year on new years eve, I had friends over and the new year had just rung in. Being a teenager I was excited and was talking about how I was going to watch a episode of Conan to ring in the new year. He made a joke like “Lame” and said “I’m going to go ring in the new year reading my Bible.” I then watched him go to his office in the basement with his Bible and proceed to do what he said. I’ve never forgotten that moment ever. I remember thinking, I hope some day I can be that devoted to reading my Bible and living for Christ.

I also remember when working on projects with my dad, he would have me go out to his van to get his toolbox so we could fix whatever we were working on. I would climb in his van and his passenger seat usually had the following items on it: A clipboard with work notes and mileage info on it,  a spy novel, a theology book, and his Bible. Later on I found out that he liked to read on his lunch breaks in between taking service calls.

Having had occasional discussions regarding theology with my Dad, I’ve realized he has come to a good understanding of the Bible and his theology he uses to study it. It guides his life and I believe it has brought him many blessings. He is a man of principle and many of those principles come straight out of God’s word. My dad is by no means the perfect Christian, nor would he claim to be. I imagine if you asked him, his answer would probably be similar to mine in that he’d say, “I mess up every day. But I’m still here, so I’ll keep going and try to do better tomorrow.” I’m grateful for the example my Dad has shown me in his faith. I hope to imitate it and teach it to my children as they come of age.

Some other things my Dad has taught me:

My dad taught me to never be a bully. He always talked about how he hated bullies. I don’t know if he was bullied or not as a child, but he had strong feelings regarding it and he made it known. No child of his was ever going to be a bully. Anytime I did something remotely close to bullying somebody, he disciplined me greatly and made sure I knew it was unacceptable. He taught me to stand up for people. I believe this is probably where I get my overwhelming sheep dog desire to protect and serve others. I may not be the biggest or the baddest, but I know right from wrong and I’ll not hesitate to protect the innocent. These feelings I have regarding serving and protecting others greatly influenced my life as I went into Police work and later serving in the Army. My dad made sure I knew right from wrong, and not to stand for certain injustices. I’m grateful he taught me these lessons and the principles it instilled in my life.

My dad also taught me about work ethic. I watched him work for over 30 years as I grew up. He wasn’t lazy. He never skipped work unless he was severely ill. He went to work every day, sometimes at jobs he despised. He taught me to work hard, but not too hard. He taught me that it’s important to go to work to provide for your family, and to do a good job. But he also taught me to not take work too seriously, as it’s just a means to an end. Careers aren’t everything. I saw my dad get screwed over by a company that bought out his company after many years of working his way up. I learned a valuable corporate life lesson that day at my father’s expense. I’ve learned to be successful like my father, but I also don’t take work as the most serious thing ever in my life.

I’ve also learned from my dad that it’s important to take time to relax and go fishing. My dad loves to go fishing. It’s his way to get away from the world. He enjoys it. He always has stories to tell about fishing. Some of my favorite times have been going on trips with my dad to go fishing. Now, I’ll let you know that I suck at fishing. I’m about as good at fishing as my dad is at keeping a lawnmower functional. I usually only go once or twice a year, but when I do go I’m with my dad. He always has a spot for us to go and a new bait or lure for us to try. Even if it’s only for an hour or two. It’s an incredible way to get away from your life. Park the car and walk a half a mile down to the lake and have a good time. Sometimes we catch fish. Most of the time I don’t. There are always laughs to be had and stories to tell. We curse the fishing line together as it gets tangled in-explicably. I almost always lose a lure to tree-bass or log-bass, or rock-bass. Sun burns and mosquito bites are common, and it’s usually over way too soon as our busy lives call us back to the real world. But fishing trips with my dad are some of my favorite memories.

In summary, I want people to know what kind of man my Dad is. He’s taught me many things and I hope to live up to his example one day. He’s honestly my best friend, and who I like hanging out with the most. Hobbies, vacations, yard work, you name it, I love spending time with my dad. I respect the hell out of him.

And when you read this Dad, I want you to know 3 things from the bottom of my heart.

1. Thank you!
2. I love you!
3. Let’s go fishing soon!

Love,
Derek

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Belle is 4 Years Old!

Belle is 4 years old now! Life is going by crazy fast.

I remember rushing home over a 4 day weekend from active duty to see Belle right after she was born and then having to go right back out to Georgia. I love watching her grow up. Belle is very opinionated, yet also very caring. She is clumsy and often lives in her own world, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Her random questions will always surprise you and she is very fun to hang out with one on one. Here are some of my favourite pictures of her.

 

Happy Birthday Belle, I love you.  – Dad

 

 

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Chicago

So I’m in Chicago for a work conference. I’m supporting all the IT needs of my company’s booth. It’s going pretty well for the most part. Occasionally you have to try and fix something as quickly as possible that randomly went wrong. Its been kind of fun. The days are long, but its not too bad. The shortest day has been 10 hours.

The cool part is getting to see a big city. Having lived in the suburbs my whole life, it’s quite different. I’m taking the train and/or cabs to work everyday. The buildings are huge and the architecture is impressive. I wish I had time to do some more touristy stuff and see more of the city. I would probably never visit Chicago on my own, so getting to see it while working has been interesting.

It’s been a fun trip so far and I’ve still got two more days of the conference to go. I’m ready to get home and see my family. The cold weather is another thing I won’t miss. I think it be cooler to visit in the spring or summer.

That’s all for now. Later.

Derek

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Jack is 6 years old!

Today is my son’s birthday. Time seems to be speeding up the older I get.
2008 seems like such a long time ago.
Jack is in kindergarten now. Watching him learn new things is quite amazing.

I can’t believe how good he is at reading.
I laugh at how juvenile and boyish his humour is. I can’t imagine what he’ll be like in jr. high.

He makes me want to be better for him.
I often feel like I am too hard on him.
He pushes me to be a better dadeven though I don’t always know how to do that.

I can’t wait to see what adventures life takes him on.
Happy Birthday Jack. I love you. -Dad

Here are some of my favorite pictures of me and Jack.

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PT Test

A new fiscal year in the guard and that means it’s time for a pt test at drill this weekend.

Success! I passed. I’m proud of myself for never having failed one in my almost 5 years in the army. Although for some reason I always get nervous about them. This one I was a bit more nervous about since Caroline was just born 3 weeks ago and my training for the test took a serious hit due to taking care of a newborn.

But I got over 75% in each category for a score of 236. I’m happy with that.

On a side note, I don’t understand how some of these kids continue to fail. You know the test is coming and you know what is required to pass. Just google it! Do the math and put in some effort for a month or two before the test. It’s not rocket science. I’m old and body parts hurt, but I can still pass them.

Ok rant over.
Bring on the holiday food.

Derek

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My Growing Family

Well it’s been a while since I’ve posted pictures on my blog or website. Mostly because I’m lazy, and with facebook and Amy’s blog, it’s usually easier to just link to those galleries. However, in the spirit of blogging more (even though I don’t expect any high amounts of traffic, I thought I would post some pics of my Family which recently got an addition of Caroline.

The photos were taken By Nicole Gillihan. She is a friend and an awesome photographer. You can check out her work on facebook https://www.facebook.com/NicoleGillihanPhotography or her website http://nicolegillihanphotography.com/.

Sweet Caroline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Precious Isabelle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awesome Jack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brother and Sister.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me and Jack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The whole family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me and Caroline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My beautiful wife Amy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all for now. Later.

Derek

 

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Slight Delay

So I’ve been slightly delayed in updating the old blog. I just spent over 2 hours trying to figure out why apache kept railing my server. I tried migrating it twice. I switched between php as an apache module, fastcgi, and fpm. I switched back and forth between apache and nginx. Turns out the likely culprit was over 10k spam comments on my blog. guess I should have updated wordpress and my anti-spam plugins more often.

In the mean time, I’ve disabled comments completely site wide. So hopefully that should help. I’ll say I’m going to try and update the blog more, but who knows if I’ll do it. I need to redesign my whole site and my blog. Maybe in my free time between grad school, 3 kids, army, work, and stress.

But progress is progress.

Derek

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